I resolved several years ago not to consume any food product whose name includes a dumb suffix like -ers, -ables, -ums, and so on.  Because from a pure cause-and-effect perspective, they might as well all be called Wrecked-Ums. … [Read more...]

Skiers and snowboarders negotiate snow-covered slopes the way they negotiate interstate highways. Very poorly. I refer not to actual locomotive ability. I am a wonderfully mediocre and incapable skier, and I know what it's like to learn—it sucks. I'm about as likely to criticize a beginning skier's ability as I am to complement an advanced skier's prowess. Which is to say not … [Read more...]

Every conversation I have with a stranger on the ski lift goes pretty much like this: Nice day, huh? (Them) Yes, it is, indeed.  (Me) Getting some good runs in? Yeah, I'm having a good time today. Yesterday was even nicer.  Much better conditions than today. I demoed these sick twin-tip powder skis. That's great, glad you enjoyed it. Of course, I only ski on the Mary Jane side … [Read more...]

The cat discovered his shadow for the eighth time this week.  Let the festivities begin. … [Read more...]

Please, please, please stop saying it. … [Read more...]

Truly amazing chocolate that is affordable enough to be enjoyed on a daily basis. Same goes for wine, cheese, bread, and mass transit. Restaurant waitstaff that don't pretend to be your best friend. All I really want waitstaff to do is answer questions about the menu and bring food and drink to my table. They do that in Europe without pretending to like you. In fact, I think … [Read more...]

I'm only a 33 year old (Jesus!) Coloradan, but in motorist years, I'm a good 67, easy.  And from a respectable suburb of Tampa. I've recently started taking immense pleasure, you see, in driving with painstaking caution and observing with wide-eyed excitement as other motorists go utterly ape shit.  I don't do anything particularly unreasonable, which makes it all the more … [Read more...]

What is it about the irresistible combination of tender, buttery pancakes; sweet maple syrup; smoky, crispy bacon; and a hot cup of coffee?  Few things are as comforting. Lexicographically speaking, I suppose a goose down comforter ought to be, but as it is neither tender nor buttery nor delicious, its candidacy was pretty much over before it even started. … [Read more...]

It's moldy. Does it get moldier? If so, does it matter? … [Read more...]